Mark Driscoll warns couples not to commit 'emotional adultery'

Mark Driscoll, the pastor of Trinity Church in Arizona, has reminded Christian couples about the importance of friendship in marriage and warned against committing "emotional adultery."

Driscoll, with his wife, Grace, wrote in a blog post that friendship is essential in a marriage and that it protects couples from committing emotional adultery.

The couple described emotional adultery as "having as your close friend someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse." They wrote that during their time together, they have seen many Christians commit emotional adultery, including pastors and their wives.

The Driscolls noted that many books and sermons about marriage are focused only on Bible verses about matrimony. They advised that the Bible verses on friendship should be examined as well because it also applies to marriage.

"The Bible itself weds marriage and friendship. A wife in Song of Songs says, 'This is my beloved, and this is my friend' (5:16)," the Driscolls wrote.

The couple said that the word friend is now being used too loosely, including on social networking websites. They warned that it could lead to unreasonable expectations or disappointments.

"So the word friend needs to be used carefully. We make a mistake when we call anyone we are friendly to a 'friend,'" they stated.

They explained that marital friendship requires both the husband and wife to invest time, energy, emotions, and even money.

"Those who want their spouses to be friends without seeking to be good friends in return are selfish and demanding. And those who want to be good friends but do not help their spouses reciprocate are prone to be taken advantage of, abused, neglected, and suffer from their marriages," the couple wrote.

The Driscolls said that couples should keep working on their friendship, adding that marriage seems to come more easily and happily when the husband and the wife are friends with each other.

Driscoll has spoken several times on the topic of marriage in the past year. In September, the pastor admitted that he made the mistake of being sexually active before he got married.

In response to a question about marrying non-virgins, Driscoll said that he and his wife had to talk through some issues before they decided to get married. He said that despite his past mistakes, he had been freed from sin when he turned to Jesus.